maand5

january 1st

At last an new page. In the first place I want to wish everybody a great 2001.

What has happened here in the meantime. Nothing shocking. Christmas and new years eve are over, thank god. Not that I hate those days but it's terrible for the kids. Especially Merel is stil not herself. On new years eve she totally flipped out. She screamed, kicked and cried for one and a half hours untill she got so tired and fell asleep.

Between christmas and new year everybody got sick. Summer couldnt hold any bottle in. Just when we started giving her babyfood. This went well, she sucked it from a spoon and her bottles ware getting emptier everytime. But as if that wasnt allowed it al disappeared after a few days of sickness. And now we are back where we started. What a mess.

mm beans

It's having ups and downs. The realisation that you never get rid of the care for her is sometimes suffocating. In the most possitive scenario she will end up in a living community. But the security of having all your kids out of the house before the age of 20 is goon.
And that hurts sometimes. And it's getting clearer that she falls behind a bit in her development, but she did role over on her belly 2 times today. Thats something her sister has in her whole baby career never done.
I stopped believing that you'll accept this totally a while ago, And I dont believe that there's anyone that really does.
as long as you look at your child and say things like:'she does it as good as any other kid' or 'You dont notice it at all' says enough about your acceptation.
But she laughs outloud and steal hearts all around. I hope that stays that way because she deserves to be happy, even though I am not always happy with her.

Nice cowgirl huh?

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