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August 8th

The last couple of days have been like a rollercoaster. Summer is doing fine, apart from some cramps. Today she's doing really well. She drank 3 bottles on her own. At 10 PM she was so tired that we had to give the whole bottle in the feeding pump.

Summer is always in a stretch. We should see what her ped. says about that.

Everything runs okay. Merel plays with her baby (not ours) and is very sweet to her. She's getting more kisses then she can handle.

Merel is a fairy all day, just waving her magic wand

And now us, the parents. Yesterday was a bad day. I felt tired all day long and Arenka wasn't herself either. At the end of the day it resulted in a big cry together. However you call it, we are mourning. We're mourning over the child that didn't arrive....., the healthy little girl named Summer, who would grow up together with her sister. A bright future ahead. Without problems.

And now? ...There is another child. She is also named Summer. And we love her as much as we cry about the loss of the other Summer. And we worry. Will she make it? Will we mourn in three months time over this Summer to, who will be gone then? 
How positive you try to be, the reality is that 5 % don't make it. That is something we are aware of, and we have to cope with it.

Summer loves the Tummy Tub, floating in the warm water

August 11th

A busy day today. The first examination in the Amsterdam Medical Centre is over. After a little poking and sticking we were ready to go. Summer gets a little pill daily now. In the pil there are hormones (Thyroxine) ...or nothing at all. After 2 years we will know for sure. Hopefully she had the hormones then, or else she will hav made an contribution to research to help children born with Down Syndrome in the future .

Summer is doing good, she drank 4 bottles yesterday and even wants some more sometimes! But that's not allowed because of the heart condition. At the visit with the ped. she found that she had lost some weight, so we have to watch that. Home visits are coming too now. Yesterday our good friends from Enschede came by and that was relaxing. Its good to feel people are feeling with you.

Ryan, Merel, Summer en Sharon

After a day like today you feel how tired you really are. The tension is tiring. And after 3 weeks you're starting to feel it. But we feel better and stronger everyday.Well ...untill the next crisis then, because it's for sure there will be a lot of them coming.

dad is so tired, so let's sleep a bit together


Copyright 2001 Rob Breedeveld